"Bad" days suck. Really bad. You feel like you are doing soooo much better and then one thing can happen...one bad dream about your husband being with the other woman...one awful trigger can spiral you back down to feeling horrible.
My husband still thinks about the other woman here and there...he doesn't want to and is trying to make it stop. But yet she still persists in his brain. It makes me sad and pissed. How dare she inhabit any part of his mind still. I want her gone and I want it now. I know that's not how it works but oh well...I still wish it were so.
He still wonders what "could have been?" That hurts even more. Why does he care? I wish he'd focus on what he could do for OUR relationship. What he should have done at the time of the affair to save OUR marriage. But he still wonders what he could have done differently with HER.
It's painful. This whole thing is painful. I just want to feel secure and loved and good enough. That's it. It's really quite simple when you think about it.
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