I'm done

I'm done.  I'm done feeling like I'm the only one trying to fix this marriage.  I'm done pulling my weight and his...he did this.  He made this mess.  He decided to have this affair.  I did not.  He did. He destroyed our relationship even if it was already on it's way down.  He did THIS!

So when I am the one that is talking to him openly and honestly...of reassuring him that I'm here to stay....of reading articles about infidelity to understand....to stalking an infidelity forum....to sending texts to him saying I appreciate him doing xyz....to trying to act normal for his sake....to understanding that working out at the gym is important to him and allowing him to continue at the same gym that he found "her"...I'm just FUCKING done. 

He should be doing all of these things.  He should be the one spending every minute of every day figuring out what to do to make me feel loved and secure...to make me feel that our new marriage is off on the right track.  He has chosen to not do any of these things. So I am done. 

If he wants this to work then he needs to decide how important his family and I are to him and start doing what he needs to.  Because soon he is going to look around and I am not going to care anymore.  I will have given up on us as sad as that makes me.

Because I am done and I am tired.  I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and it's crushing me.